The Story Behind Bahala
When I sat down with Carlo Cabanilla to chat about Bahala, I didn't expect to dive into a story that began with a cross-country move, a new baby, and a quest for community. But that's exactly where our conversation took us. After all, the name "Bahala" comes from a Filipino expression that could be translated to "take care" or “trust.” It's a philosophy that seems to underpin much of Carlo's approach to community building.
"We moved to West LA in January 2017," Carlo told me, a hint of nostalgia in his voice. "It was just me and my wife, Gen, starting this new life. Obama was packing up the White House, and we were unpacking in Los Angeles."
The move was more than just a change of scenery. For Carlo, it was a necessary step away from an all-consuming startup. In LA, he found a job in game development, a career path that aligned with his past self— 90’s games like Quake and Star Control had inspired him to learn and love software development as a teen. "Being offered my dream job at a game company I really admired helped me fully leave my ‘baby.’ Making a clean break would have been too difficult if I’d stayed in NJ.”
But life has a way of throwing curveballs, and soon Carlo found himself navigating the challenges of new parenthood in a new city. "When Luna was born, it was really tough," he admitted. "I felt really isolated, far from my support system of friends and family on the east coast."
“When COVID hit, quarantining while figuring out how to be a dad made for a disorienting, lonely time for me,” Carlo confessed. “I remember playing this game, Dark Souls, which some characterize as an allegory for fighting depression. It helped me cope, but I knew I needed more human connection.”
It was during this time that Carlo began to see the need for something like Bahala. "We joined a co-op preschool, Little Village, and the warm, community-oriented culture there helped us feel more embraced by this place and more confident as new parents," he said, his enthusiasm palpable. "It was a big deal for us."
But, the feelings of isolation crept back in. “It felt exceedingly difficult to build friendships, especially since I was working from home. The Westside doesn’t really have a town square where everyone gathers. You only really bump into your immediate social circle unless you really make an effort to connect outside of it.”
As luck would have it, Carlo had a chance meeting with my wonderful superconnector sister, Deb. She shared similar feelings of isolation and saw opportunities for the city to more fully reach its potential. She invited him to work together on their shared vision of a better Santa Monica, and Bahala was born.
When I asked about Bahala's mission, Carlo's eyes lit up. "I love the word 'interstitium'," he said, referencing a recently discovered connective network all throughout the human body. "We're trying to be that connective tissue in the community. There’s so many organizations and individuals who are creating great experiences, and I want us to amplify them and make them discoverable."
Building community isn't without its challenges. Carlo spoke candidly about the struggle to set boundaries and prioritize efforts. "The more people I talk to, the more help I realize everyone needs. But, you can't boil the ocean," he said with a chuckle, using a phrase I'd never heard before but instantly loved.
“I’m still figuring out how to help in a way that doesn’t burn me out.” He laughed. “I’ve always been a perfectionist: I wanted that 100 on the test, the A+, the perfect solution to everything. Many hours of therapy have taught me that just because someone presents me with their problem, doesn't mean I am responsible for fixing it for them. Maybe they just need a supportive ear. Or maybe we can connect them with others in the community who can help.” Many hands make light work, after all.
As we wrapped up our chat, I asked Carlo about his vision for Bahala's future. His response was both ambitious and heartfelt: "I have this vision of every organization posting what they can offer and what they need. Other orgs or volunteers would be able to browse and fulfill and/or request according to needs, abilities, and interest. There’s so much that connects us, and I want to expose those common threads to each other. Even if it’s just we don’t feel so alone in our problems." He paused. “Also, I want to ground things in stuff that feels good to people. Sometimes it’s nice to just garden or do a fun activity together. We don’t always need to focus our attention on the bigger picture.”
It's clear that for Carlo, Bahala is more than just a nonprofit—it's a mission to create the kind of community support he wished for when he first arrived in Santa Monica. And if our conversation is any indication, it's a mission that's well on its way to making a real difference.